Lost In Beauty-

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

when someone throws you in the deep end, all you can do is swim and hope to God that you're going the right way.

Cause like you said, this is it. This is life. And I'm in love with you. I think that's the only thing I've ever been sure of in my entire life. And i'm really messed up right now, and I've got a whole lot of stuff I have to work out, but I don't want to waste any more of my life without you in it.

As I stared watching him. Slow, steady, calm. I realised that there was someone better for me. Someone who would make me even more happy. Someone I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with. You.

She was beautiful in that quiet way that lonely, unnoticed people are beautiful to those who notice them.

the beauty exposed ;

Friday, July 23, 2010

i lay there frozen, unmoving, thoughtful.

i thought about the life, the universe, the knowledge.

the friends, the family, the strangers.

and the curiosity

and the fate, that won't let go.

i lay there frozen, unmoving, thoughtful.

cold, unforgiving, breathless.

in that moment between sleeping and waking.

between dawn and sunrise.

between love and lust.

between jealousy and hate.

i lay there.

my memories filtering through my eyes.

like water through a sieve.

unrelenting.

smooth.

meaningless.

i stared

and waited.

until it was time to get up.

the beauty exposed ;

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Cause like you said, this is it. This is life. And I'm in love with you. I think that's the only thing that I've ever really been sure of. And I'm really messed up right now. and I got a whole lot of stuff I have to work out, but I don't want to waste any more of my life without you in it.

the beauty exposed ;

i'm shaking uncontrollably. waiting for you to come and save me.

it's one thing to be scared. but it's another thing to get up again. face uncertainty in the behind and say 'get stuffed.' or 'i hate you' or 'begone'. Theatricality has no meaning.

it's a matter of saving someone else, or saving yourself. it's a matter of self-preservation and sacrifice.

But sometimes, you're stuck in a rut. You can't move forward. You can't move back. Life's got you hammered into place. Fate's got you by the throat and won't let go. You're digging your own hole and you can't stop. Until someone comes by, and pulls you out. Wraps arms around you like a big, warm blanket and won't let go.

it'll be okay. because in the end it has to be. and when the sky crashes down, know that you'll be drenched in blue, and this is not a catastrophe.

the beauty exposed ;

Monday, July 05, 2010

Shout to the Lord

All the Earth let us sing.

Power and majesty praise to the King.

Mountains bow down and the seas will roar

At the sound of your name.

I've lost my way. My heart is empty and I can't find my way home. Last night, I prayed and prayed and suddenly I felt it creep back into my heart. My life. My soul. My faith. It's there now, I can feel it. And hopefully, I won't ever forget again that the Lord is the love of my life and the best thing that's ever happened to me. Hopefully, I won't forget and empty my heart. I want to be alive. I want to feel.

I tried calling my bestfriend but he was with his girlfriend last night. I understand. I forgive him. But that's what scares me the most. I know that everything he does to hurt me.. I'll forgive him. I'll find some way of putting the blame on somebody else.. something else.. me.. But the thing I'm more afraid of.. is that one day, he'll do something so hurtful that I won't be able to find it in my heart to forgive him. And he'll be lost forever.

... I really need to talk to him.

The scars you bear are the signs of a warrior.

Just because you didn't win. Doesn't mean you don't know how to roar.

the beauty exposed ;